Friday, October 23, 2009

Feeling guilty

Ok so I'm feeling a little guilty at the moment. C and I received our 1st No's to the wedding and I have to admit I was a little excited, not because I didn't want these people at the wedding, far from it I was sad that they couldn't come. The realisation that I am about to get married and say my vows in front of a lot people has set in. I have maintain during the entire process that I want a small wedding and while 80 people is small to a lot of people it still seems huge to me. Let 80 people into a very personal, private and emotion moment is a bit scary.

Everyone I have invited I want at the wedding but at the same time there is a little part of me that is happy when people say no and the wedding becomes smaller. I can't help it and I feel bad but letting people into something so important is hard, and I think I have to struggle with it a little longer before I feel 100% comfortable.

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